"computer sayz noo!"

I knew that I was going to have a trying start to my day because I had to visit the bank, so I decided to switch from my normal diet of deep electronica in the stereo to something more suitable, blue collar, Americana, (if such a genre of music exists) as I thought that it would put me in a better frame of mind to deal with bureaucracy.

And even though I listened to the acclaimed Richmond Fontaine album, "The Fitzgerald," and was feeling very bullish about this banking episode - it never worked.

Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest doesn't hold true for banks except with regard to their lack of service and their polite insistance on doing things in a completely befuddled manner.

The bank, has many "service" offerings: Car Finance; Loans; Home Loans; Forex, "blah-de-blah fish paste," and by the looks of it they all seem to have their own disparate databases which store information about you. So the retrieval of the correct information, is problematic at best, but not for them, for you - expect to bring another payslip; another identity photocopy and to sign up for more useless insurance.

Expect another credit check, another set of excuses as you complain for 30 minutes and finally a pleasant, "So we'll see you tomorrow then sir," before you leave.

Oil-and-gas may think it's bad, we sell you a grudge good but at least we have the decency not to do things like charge you for the pleasure of withdrawing your own money - that's BAD (not the bad meaning good) it's terrible, it's big-BAD-financial institutions and we just can't compete.