my iQ tRip - a theory on beauty and happiness

I am finding it near impossible to hit a groove, I am bored at work, so bored that I have been faffing around with IQ tests.

The first few questions spike my interest but then it very quickly becomes apparent that nothing has changed, be it online, complex or short and dirty. I still end up in that 92-97 percentile range, a worker bee, one below the queen bee geniuses, and I conclude (again I might add) that I'd rather be beautiful than bright if I had the choice.

Why? Because society rewards beauty and the body beautiful (I'm a slight exception here) who tend to fall into the lower IQ percentile ranges are utterly happy. No! beauty and brains is a molotov cocktail and trust me on this one you will only intellectually suffer, hence it's gotz ta be beauty on it's own that's all that counts.

So reward and happiness, fuck all this abstract intellectualisation that sounds like the lottery to me (clichéd hair toss).

Perhaps if I was breast fed for that six weeks and not four, I'd be up there with Albert E, theorising my life away, mind over matter, is all that would matter. Because you know what they say, yes they, say that if you breast feed a baby for six weeks you add up to 30 IQ points to their intellect, but I only got a buggery four weeks of my mother's milk.

Anyway, I am finished with IQ tests for the moment and can tell you what's in the green tea this afternoon:

I am reading, Martini a Memoir by Frank Moorhouse, I'm 20 pages in and it makes me want to drink copiously so it's proving to be a fine read. And I have finally completed my version of the trip which rivals Tom Middleton's second effort.

Mine goes a little something like this: Shuggie Otis - pling + Hajime Yoshizawa - i'm not in love + Jimpster - distant light + Yazoo - ode to a boy + Nouvelle Vague - heart of glass + Dimitri from Paris - toi mon auto + Martin Deny - misirilou + Chet Baker & Astrud Gilberto - far away + Mel Torme - strangers in the night + Smokey Robinson - quietstorm (groove bootique remix) + The Rebirth - walk talkin Mizell + Digible planets - for corners + DJ Einstein & Zaakir - have and have nots + David Byrne - dance on vaseline + Stereolab - cybele's reverie + Kraftwerk - the robots.

Ask nicely and I'll trip you a copy via the good ol' fashioned post but I will also be putting it in the box over the next couple of weeks.